I should be asleep already

I'm sure it is simply because, as you all know, I need to vacate the premises by 8:30 a.m.

However, I do have another theory:
My head hurts.
My throat hurts.
I'm sneezy and coughy.
My right ear is plugged.
The backs of both feet are still bloody and sore from wearing a pair of god-awful-painful shoes on Sunday.
I slept for 14 hours last night.
It took all the energy I could muster to pull myself out of bed at 12:30 in the afternoon and drag my butt to work.
I've ingested far too much caffeine.
My bed is uncomfortable.
The fan causes the blinds to thump into the wall.
A car in the parking lot outside my bedroom window has been revving its engine for half an hour straight.
I can hear music playing.
Brad snores.
The nightlight in the hall brightens and dims.
I think I ate a booger yesterday. It was an accident. I thought it was a bread crumb.