Valentines Schmalentines

I don't like Valentine's Day. I have a theory that it was invented by the card companies to make up for the sales lull between Christmas and my birthday. OK, OK, maybe its between Christmas and Mother's Day.

What a depressing day. So much expectation ... nobody can live up to that. Plus, in my mind, people should show their loved ones how they feel all year long. But that's just me.

I can't pinpoint when my dislike began. But some of my V-Day highlights (and lowlights) might shed some light on the inner workings of my complicated mind.

In elementary school, Valentine's Day was fun. I'd spend a week decorating my Valentine's box and everyone was required to bring a card/treat for everyone else (or nobody if you're going to be that way). I didn't like boys, so who cares what they said about me on the back of their Transformers (more than meets the eyes ... Transformers robots in disguise) card? It was like a second Halloween.

In middle school, the student council sold chocolate suckers. That's probably when my dislike of this "holiday" began. Always wondering if I'd get a sucker. I was awkward in middle school. (A photographer mistook me for a boy in the 8th grade, telling my parents, "Your son isn't smiling in this one.") Needless to say, I never got a sucker.

In high school, it turned to flowers. And every Feb. 14th, I'd wander through the halls listening to pretty much everyone but me get called to the office to collect their gifts. One year, my sister sent me flowers. A nice thought, I'll give her that, but not the same as getting something from a male admirer.

By the first year of college, I expected very little. Of course, that was the year that I got a huge bouquet of roses . . . from a boy. It was embarrassing. Everyone in my dorm was staring and talking about it.

After I was done with college, a still-single me went back to "celebrate" Valentine's Day with my single friends. We stayed locked inside all day, eating pizza and stuffing our faces with cupcakes. We rented a plethora of "I hate love" movies. It was awesome!

After Brad and I became a couple, I told him, "Nothing for Valentine's Day." He still swears that he was terrified that I was testing him and he didn't know what to do ... or not do. In the end, he may have gotten me a card that first year and I accepted it because it would be heartless to do otherwise. But now he knows and does nice stuff to let me know how he feels almost every other day of the year. (Have I made you puke yet?)